“Are You Struggling with the ‘Good Girl Syndrome’? Learn to Identify These Common Indicators”
The “Good Girl Syndrome” is a term often used to describe certain behaviors that revolve around seeking validation, prioritizing others’ needs, and aiming for unattainable perfection, which can ultimately lead to mental health challenges. While not an official psychological diagnosis, this concept points to tendencies commonly seen in individuals who tend to be people-pleasers, constantly seeking external approval, and attempting to maintain a facade of flawlessness.
Although not an established psychological term, the roots of the “Good Girl Syndrome” can be traced back to societal expectations that promote obedience, self-sacrifice, and conforming to conventional norms. This phenomenon has been perpetuated through cultural influences, even in media portrayals like TV serials, where female characters often embody these traits. Arouba Kabir, mental health counsellor, wellness coach, and founder of Enso Wellness, remarks, “Girls are often raised with the belief that they shouldn’t say no, should always appear agreeable, and avoid raising their voices or having strong opinions.”
While striving for kindness and cooperation is valuable, recognizing when these tendencies are causing harm to one’s mental well-being is crucial. To better understand and address the “Good Girl Syndrome,” it’s essential to identify the patterns that may be contributing to stress, burnout, and a sense of inauthenticity.
“The Prevalence of Idealized Femininity, or the ‘Good Girl’ Image, Can Trigger Emotional and Mental Health Challenges”
Arouba Kabir, mental health counsellor, wellness coach, and founder of Enso Wellness, emphasizes that the perception of an idealized version of oneself or of women around them can be a significant factor contributing to emotional and mental health issues. This phenomenon, often referred to as the “Good Girl Syndrome,” can manifest as anxiety, low self-esteem, people-pleasing tendencies, and even more complex mental health disorders like borderline personality disorder.
Individuals grappling with the “Good Girl Syndrome” often exhibit poor self-esteem, making it difficult for them to assert themselves, establish personal boundaries, or confidently say no to situations that are not aligned with their needs. Despite the importance of possessing these skills, those affected by this syndrome often struggle to do so. Their limited ability to manage stress exacerbates the issue.
Interestingly, the trait that garners admiration from others can significantly impact various facets of an individual’s life—ranging from personal relationships, academic achievements, and career choices to financial decisions, social interactions, and overall well-being. Recognizing the impact of societal norms and working towards a healthier sense of self can pave the way to a more balanced and authentic life.
“Recognizing Signs of the ‘Good Girl Syndrome’: Arouba Kabir Shares Key Indicators”
Arouba Kabir, founder of Enso Wellness and an expert in mental health counselling, sheds light on potential indicators of the “Good Girl Syndrome,” shedding light on behaviours that might stem from societal pressures and norms:
1. People-Pleasing Tendencies: The urge to prioritize others’ needs over one’s own well-being. Struggles with saying no and engaging in unhealthy behaviours like extreme dieting, self-image alteration, and financial compromises may arise.
2. Fear of Rejection: A constant apprehension of being judged or disapproved of by others can lead to avoidance of conflicts and decisions, even in minor preferences such as food or attire choices.
3. Perfectionism: Striving for unattainable perfection in all areas of life, setting unrealistic standards, and experiencing distress when unable to meet them. Such tendencies might contribute to mental health issues like obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).
4. Boundary Setting Challenges: Difficulty in setting personal boundaries and communicating limits, which can lead to neglecting self-care activities and one’s own well-being.
5. Rescue Behavior: Women displaying such behaviour often assume roles of caretakers, fixers, or rescuers within relationships. This can influence their choices, leading to both nurturing partnerships and those that may not be compatible.
6. Guilt: Experiencing guilt when prioritizing self-care or placing their own needs above others.
Kabir emphasizes that the “Good Girl Syndrome” isn’t a mental health disorder, but rather emotional challenges stemming from formative years, typically between the ages of 7 and 10. Recognizing these attributes and challenging belief systems can be achieved through professional guidance or self-exploration. Overcoming these tendencies can lead to a healthier sense of self and overall well-being.
