Here are several approaches to address the challenges associated with conflicts, ranging from fostering self-awareness to rebuilding connections with your partner.
Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, and surprisingly, it can be healthy as it allows us to gain clarity on the changes and perspectives of the other person. However, after a conflict, addressing and resolving it is essential. For individuals with a fearful attachment style, managing conflicts can be particularly challenging. They often harbor a fear of intimacy and vulnerability, leading them to avoid conflicts at all costs. “Avoiding conflict might provide temporary relief, but it ultimately impedes relationship growth and resolution. Expressing our needs can be daunting due to our fear of rejection. Rather than placing blame on ourselves, we should learn to address issues directly with our partners. It’s crucial to see things from our partner’s perspective and be open to compromise as part of conflict resolution. It’s time for us to challenge ourselves and cultivate empathy and understanding,” suggested therapist Benjamin Ekorhi.
Here are several reasons why fearful avoidants tend to steer clear of conflicts:
View conflict as a threat: Fearful avoidants perceive conflicts and turmoil within a relationship as a threat that could potentially destabilize their connection. Consequently, they opt to evade conflicts rather than confront and address the underlying issues.
Difficulty expressing their needs: Due to their fear of rejection, they often struggle to communicate their needs, desires, and expectations openly and honestly.
Self-blame tendencies: Fearful avoidants tend to internalize blame and take responsibility for everything that goes wrong in the relationship, often shouldering unnecessary guilt.
Struggles with compromise: They find it challenging to empathize with their partner’s perspective and reach mutually satisfactory compromises.
To cultivate healthy conflict resolution skills:
Identify triggers: Self-awareness involves recognizing one’s emotional triggers and learning effective coping strategies.
Enhance communication: Effective communication is vital for healthy relationships; it’s essential to express needs and desires clearly.
Address issues: Instead of avoidance, confronting and addressing issues directly is crucial for reconnecting with one’s partner.
